Making the World a Better Place One Dream at a Time
I had never heard of mobbing until I worked in Bosnia and Herzegovina (BiH). Apparently the term is common in Europe and especially in BiH where mobbing is a perennial problem. The description below provides a clear definition of what it entails. The sad part of the story is that mobbing is a common way of life in BiH according to what several Bosnians told me. Managers commonly use this technique to gain control and to get rid of competitors or anyone who does not mindlessly follow their instructions. One colleague told me of a supervisor who screamed so hard at a woman co-worker that she fainted and collapsed onto the floor. The same colleague recounted that this supervisor sent him into a live mine field without telling him that it was full of active mines. Another colleague told me of getting slapped by his female supervisor in front of a large group of individuals for expressing his opinion while differed slightly from hers.
My chief mobber had to resort to lies and false accusations in order to attempt to gain control over me.
She had to say one thing to the technical director of our project and another thing to me to create division between us, making it easier to play one of of against the other and then to come in for the kill. She was on a rampage against the world and attempted to use our staff to fight her own battles.
What is saddest to me is that this propensity for mobbing is just one indication of the hopelessness of Bosnians and also perhaps indicative of a deep seated inability to reconcile and live with each other peacefully. The need to control and to humiliate may reflect the attitude of government officials also, who have illustrated ab unwillingness to compromise, an unwillingness to progress, and an unwillingness to reach any consensus on major challenges BiH faces that would allow them entrance into Europe and truly into the Western world.
In reading In the Days of the Consuls by Ivo Andric, I noted that he talked at some length of the need for Bosnians to keep out the rest of the world. Andric noted their unwillingness to build roads to connect them to the rest of Europe even in th early 1800s, an unwillingness that continues even today. The roads are a disgrace and a humiliation for any European country and make the country seem like it is still in the dark ages. Perhaps because of an internalized realization that they are an Eastern enclave in a Western world and need to isolate themselves in order to maintain their identity. The massive influx of Arabs is perhaps helping them to strengthen this Eastern identity and to give it power. Bosniaks make jokes about the ninja women while they continue to wear their revealing clothes and act modern, but they are silently accepting the Islamization of their country, the increasing radicalization of their youth, and their continued hostility toward foreigners. That was part of my problem - being a foreigner.
"What is mobbing?
The word bullying is used to describe a repeated pattern of negative intrusive violational behaviour against one or more targets and comprises constant trivial nit-picking criticism, refusal to value and acknowledge, undermining, discrediting and a host of other behaviours which are defined on my page What is bullying?
The word mobbing is preferred to bullying in continental Europe and in those situations where a target is selected and bullied (mobbed) by a group of people rather than by one individual. However, every group has a ringleader. If this ringleader is an extrovert it will be obvious who is coercing group members into mobbing the selected target. If the ringleader is an introvert type, he or she is likely to be in the background coercing and manipulating group members into mobbing the selected target; introvert ringleaders are much more dangerous than extrovert ringleaders.
In a mobbing situation, the ringleader incites supporters, cohorts, copycats and unenlightened, inexperienced, immature or emotionally needy individuals with poor values to engage in adversarial interaction with the selected target. The ringleader, or chief bully, gains gratification from encouraging others to engage in adversarial interaction with the target. Many people use the word "mobbing" to describe this pack attack by many on one individual. Once mobbing is underway the chief bully foments the mobbing into mutually assured destruction, from which the chief bully gains intense gratification - this is a feature of people with psychopathic personality.
One aspect of psychopathic bullies is that they home in on Wannabe types - non-psychopathic lesser bullies - and then empower these individuals to gain the positions of power and authority they crave. Once installed, the Wannabe's lack of competence makes them dependent on the chief psychopath, which means they become unwitting but willing compliant puppets. They also make perfect corporate clones and drones. A characteristic of the Wannabe is that as well as lacking all the competencies necessary for their position, they also lack the intellect to understand the nature and manner of their compliant subservience.
Throughout the mobbing experience, the target is deceived into fighting, blaming and trying to hold accountable the minor bullies of the mobbing group rather than the chief bully. The main reason a psychopathic chief bully gets away with his (or her) behaviour repeatedly is that no-one wants to believe that s/he could be the monster s/he is. This is also the reason that many pedophiles and wife-batterers evade accountability and sanction for years, often decades. They appear so charming and plausible to naive, unenlightened and inexperienced people - usually those who haven't experienced bullying themselves. Psychopathic chief bullies are very likely to have everyone in human resources and management in their pocket, who are then manipulated into further mobbing, victimising and persecuting the target.
The golden rule when tackling a mobbing situation is, I believe, to identify and focus exclusively on the chief bully, and concentrate on holding this ringleader accountable. Expect an immediate increase in mobbing activities, and a rapidly-expanding web of deceit to be concocted against you. Alternatively, the best solution may be to make a positive decision to leave and refuse to allow these people to continue to ruin your career, your health and your life. In the unlikely event that the psychopathic chief leader is exposed and then leaves, the dysfunction, aggression and negative feelings fostered by him or her are likely to linger for years."
Mobbers are dream killers. They are miserable, unhappy, insecure people who have to mob others to get their own sense of self.